curious but scared...

Tips and questions on dealing with BDSM matters (such as spanking, discipline, etc). Questions about finding partners go under PERSONALS!

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curious but scared...

Postby shy_katie » Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:54 pm

i'm a 19 yo girl, used to get spanked by my dad growing up. now i think back and find myself getting turned on at the thought. no, not the dad. just the spanking. or the discipline, humiliation... i don't know...

is that normal?? i don't know how to explore that fantasy. or if i should explore it. my last bf kinda freaked out, but now i'm single again. perhaps better that way!

what do people do when they get spanked? stay put? scream? struggle? i'm so unsure about everything!
shy_katie
 

Re: curious but scared...

Postby chellae » Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:17 pm

20 myself and still kinda new into discipline and being bottom :D
My last bf freaked too, but i didn't give up, found myself a very handsome Man into giving spankings which makes things easier, with Him giving the lead most of the time.

Spankings are very sexy, over the knee is my favorite. As to what people do when they're put there? well, depends on how much they want the spanking at the time. I've found myself volunteering and crawling into the position, squirming happily once there..and also thrashing to get away(mostly for the fun of escaping)
Scream or no? well..I do give out the occasional ouch..some people are into much harsher to the point of sobbing tears...it depends on what turns you on i think.

Should you explore? definitely! How? well..it sounds really scary, and it can be..but well worth it if you summon the courage..ASK!
Find someone you can really trust and talk it over with them ..
Hope this helps!
chellae
 

Re: curious but scared...

Postby bluubookworm » Sat Jul 11, 2009 11:58 pm

New to spanking myself...has always been a fantasy of mine never realized until i left my husband of 16 years...my lover is very curious about what makes me feel good...and spanking is one of the things i now enjoy. I normally "roleplay" for him...perhaps being naughty or asking him to warm me up.
I like to be submissive and crawl for him, begging him to set me right.
Normally there is no screaming, just maybe whimpering or asking for more.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I felt the same way in my marriage, was made to feel that I was abnormal for wanting to experience new ways of pleasure.
All things I feel do come from our childhood...look at your homes, mates and your own life...either you try to mirror how you grew up or you try to change it.
Most of our sexual preferences actually are derived from childhood as well. The rush, anticipation and ending of punishment and/or pleasure is normally played out into our adult years...
so hang in there, be honest with your desires and you will find your prince charming. :P
bluubookworm
 

Re: curious but scared...

Postby Scared? » Mon Aug 10, 2009 12:19 pm

Nothing to be scared about, just drop those panties, get over the knees and hopefully whoever is doing the spanking will be experienced enough to stop when you feel you've had enough. What's enough? Only you will know but at least try take take it as hard and as long as possible. No sense in bothering if a few small whacks are all your going to take. So, grit those teeth, bare it and take. Just remember, you probably deserve it anyway.
Scared?
 

Re: curious but scared...

Postby bottomgirl » Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:23 pm

The fear is all part of it, Katie - hitch your skirt up to your waist, drop those panties to your knees, bend over the nearest piece of furniture, and submit to what you deserve.
Dont move, dont squirm, keep your ass real high in the air and dont forget to say thank you. You will know when you have had enough, your ass will be good and red and you will be sobbing - be a good girl now and take it well x
bottomgirl
 

Re: curious but scared...

Postby supersoupdragon » Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:59 pm

shy_katie wrote:i'm a 19 yo girl, used to get spanked by my dad growing up. now i think back and find myself getting turned on at the thought. no, not the dad. just the spanking. or the discipline, humiliation... i don't know...

is that normal?? i don't know how to explore that fantasy. or if i should explore it. my last bf kinda freaked out, but now i'm single again. perhaps better that way!

First off hi, what you are experiencing about your fathers spanking is quite normal and nothing to be ashamed of at all. Do not feel guilty and you are not a freak! You just have a lasting desire to feel the comfort of a good spanking that is all its perfectly normal altogether. Either you suffer terrible guilt the rest of your life or you face up to it and say, yes, I want to have my bottom spanked like my father used to do it to me. I am not ashamed. Forget the guys you have been with; it sounds like they were a waste of space anyway.

What you need is a long chat with an experienced firm hand like myself, yes be scared because that is all part and parcel of what it is you desire, but with the other hand let yourself explore what it is you really want. Never let yourself be abused because as has already been said discipline and abuse are two very different things altogether, so be careful and try to find a caring dominant male to help you. Thank you and very good luck.
supersoupdragon
 

Re: curious but scared...

Postby miss_spankypants » Mon Aug 17, 2009 1:21 am

In a human sexuality class in college I learned that a fetish is usually the mind's way of forming something that you fear into something you enjoy. It's a defense-mechanism.

I also learned that there is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed by your fetish, and that indulging in it was perfectly harmless and good for you. A fetish is a part of your mind, and the nature of it is to be fulfilled. Learning this made me feel so much better about myself, and enabled me to pursue it without guilt. Just wanted to share that feeling...
Miss SpankyPants
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Re: curious but scared...

Postby MS_ROGUE » Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:09 pm

The first thing to remember is "Trust". If you don't trust the person you are with your experience is bound to be a bad one. Communication will be the one thing that will give you a good experience. A good Dom/me will speak to you in detail about your desired results, experience level, and what you wish the experience to entail. A question/answer talk would be a great way to start.
MS_ROGUE
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Re: curious but scared...

Postby JaJa » Sat Aug 22, 2009 6:04 pm

Katie....
how nice to be a shy beginner in the spanking scene. There are literally millions of people into this very sensual pleasure: god knows how many who are interested but just don't know how to become involved.

Perhaps an attentive correspondent would be helpful in role playing with you! Exploring the sheer pleasure of having a man describe in some detail the many, many options, including enemas, might might well open whole new possibilities. As a plus, CYBER spankings and enemas often bring both parties to climax.

One way or another, I do hope that this phase in your life works out well.

JaJa
JaJa
 

Re: curious but scared...

Postby shygirl » Sun Aug 23, 2009 9:47 pm

I need my first adult spanking, but I am scared and nervous. I want a good spanking, but I am afraid of being abused. Any ideas?
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Re: curious but scared...

Postby ndtbf » Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:20 pm

To the two shys,

I have over 30 years experience giving spanking, what you feel is very normal. What you need to do is research and determine which type of spanking you want. Be it a gentle, slow, erotic or a teeth jarring head ringing. Then look for spanking groups or people from this list near you. When you find someone you think you can trust, sit down, communicate and negotiate.

I also recommend until you really get to know the person and can trust them, you remain clothed during your spanking. I also recommend having a friend with you that understands your need. Trust means 'feeling completely safe when totally exposed'

Darius
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Re: curious but scared...

Postby beth » Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:14 pm

Hmmm....

I don't think anyone should try to behave a certain way while they're being spanked (unless they're told to by their dominant).

Personally, I have experienced all sorts of reactions from laughing uncontrollably (even when it hurts!), to euphoria, to deep cleansing tears (my favorite the few times it has happened).

I'd just advise you to play safely and to embrace whatever sensations and emotions you feel. Allow yourself to enjoy the moment.

beth
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Re: curious but scared...

Postby colonicbycharles » Tue Sep 01, 2009 7:39 am

My mom didn't spank me except if I was really bad. My aunt on the other hand, always gave me a spanking every time she administered enemas to me when my mom was traveling on business. If I protested or even moved or squirmed during the enema I got 5 swats on my bare butt. If it happened again it was 6 and so on. I have had it build up to as many as 20 because she made me count them out loud.

Today when I have a request I try to recreate exactly how it was done to him or her in conjunction with the enemas. One woman, who flies into San Diego on business about 3 times a year, always travels with the hairbrush her father used back in the day. Warming her butt really turns her on for the enemas to follow.
Charles
colonicbycharles
 

Re: curious but scared...

Postby spanker2009 » Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:33 pm

shy_katie wrote:i'm a 19 yo girl, used to get spanked by my dad growing up. now i think back and find myself getting turned on at the thought. no, not the dad. just the spanking. or the discipline, humiliation... i don't know...

is that normal?? i don't know how to explore that fantasy. or if i should explore it. my last bf kinda freaked out, but now i'm single again. perhaps better that way!

what do people do when they get spanked? stay put? scream? struggle? i'm so unsure about everything!

if you want a good spanking
i'd be glad to spank your bottom
do you have a paddle?
are you close to leb, pa?
Last edited by spanker2009 on Fri Jan 21, 2011 4:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: curious but scared...

Postby Teacher2 » Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:54 pm

shy_kathie, where do u live? I would be more than happy to hitch up your skirt , pull those panties down and put you or me knee. Teach
Teacher2
 

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